Tooth Fairy 2

I don't know what's creepier about 'Tooth Fairy 2,' Larry the Cable Guy wearing pantyhose and a tutu, or Larry the Cable Guy sneaking into the rooms of little children in the middle of the night. If you're like me, this is one of those movies you notice when you're wandering the Blu-ray aisles of your local retailer and all you can do is shake your head. I can't help but wonder who buys these movies. Why are they given money to be made? Why is Larry the Cable Guy still around? Why doesn't he ever wear sleeves?

Have you ever noticed that in any movies that Larry the Cable Guy stars in his character's name is always Larry? He usually always plays some moronic character, so naming him Larry is probably just easier on everyone. That, or Larry the Cable Guy gets confused if you call him anything else.

Here the unfunny comic takes on the part of Larry Guthrie. Larry is a childish imbecile whose best memory is winning a car at a local bowling alley raffle after picking up a seven-ten split. Oh, and he also doesn't believe in the Tooth Fairy, but that bit is simply tacked on so at some point he can be called up to Tooth Fairy Land and given the same spiel that The Rock was given in the first 'Tooth Fairy' movie.

After telling a kid that the Tooth Fairy is only make believe, Larry is sentenced to being a temporary tooth fairy. He must collect ten teeth in ten days, or else. Also on the horizon is the love of his life who he keeps disappointing because of his moronic ways.

I feel sorry for relatively unknown actress Erin Beute who has to play Larry's love interest. She's pretty and actually somewhat charming. If she ever hits it big she may look back on this movie and shudder, thinking of when she had to kiss Larry the Cable Guy, or worse yet, bump and grind with him while he's wearing pantyhose and a tutu.

If you haven't guessed by now 'Tooth Fairy 2' is about as appealing as a giant pile of decaying molars. I've never been fond of Larry the Cable Guy or his brand of "humor." Here he's simply a fat guy with a silly accent who talks far too much for his own good. Actually, that's basically Larry the Cable Guy in a nutshell! To think that he got paid to make this is frustrating. At least he never uttered the line "get-r-done" during the entire movie. Well, he could've said it during that part where I fell asleep, but I didn't hear it the rest of the time.

Just to give you a little taste of what you'd be in for if for some unexplained reason you sat down to watch 'Tooth Fairy 2.' There's a scene where Larry eats a bunch of burritos right before having to go out on another tooth gathering job. Well, everyone knows what burritos do, right? So, as he's creeping up the stairs he lets out a foghorn-like fart, which is illustrated by bright pixie dust sparkles coming from his ass. Then it happens again, and again, and again, and… well, unfortunately you get the picture.

There's really nothing much left to say about this worthless direct-to-video sequel of a movie that was never all that great to begin with. At least the original had The Rock's charisma. 'Tooth Fairy 2' is stuck with Larry the Cable Guy's idiocy. Not like it would be any better if you replaced him with someone else, but at least you wouldn't contemplate wearing ear plugs the entire time.

The Blu-ray: Vital Disc Stats

'Tooth Fairy 2' is a 20th Century Fox Blu-ray release. The movie has been packaged in an eco-friendly Blu-ray keepcase. It has been pressed on a 50GB Blu-ray Disc. It is coded for Region A use only.

As you'd expect, this DTV sequel was shot digitally on the cheap, giving it a flat, dimensionless look. It does have one thing going for it, which is clarity, but it's too bad that clarity means that you can see all the upper-arm hair on Larry the Cable Guy's sleeveless arms. The entire picture feels flat though. Blacks feature little inkiness. Instead they appear gray and cause crushing to take place during darker scenes. Colors are ho-hum. Even in the daylight colors seem a tad muted by the overall cheapness of the entire proceedings. There isn't one thing that really sticks out about this movie's Blu-ray video presentation. I didn't catch any egregious examples of artifacting, but there are some bits of noise present during darker scenes. All in all its exactly how you'd expect a straight-to-video, cheaply filmed movie to look.

Again, there's nothing spectacular here either. Sure the movie features a DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 mix, but it hardly wows. Even during the "Jungle Boogie" scene where Larry the Cable Guy shakes his leotard-covered gut as he dances to the song in slow motion, the sound is less than impressive. LFE is light. Dialogue is clear and directionality works fairly well. Ambient sound is missing in action as the rear channels have a hard time keeping up with the proceedings. That's about it for the audio. There aren't any huge problems to report, but it's an utterly mundane audio mix anyway.

If you didn't think the movie was torture enough, then check into the special features where Larry the Cable Guy is just as dumb.

• Why Do I Lose My Baby Teeth? (HD, 5 min.) – Larry gives a lesson about losing your baby teeth.


• Return to Fairyland - Making 'Tooth Fairy 2' (HD, 9 min.) – Everyone involved talks about the movie and somehow has disillusioned themselves into thinking that they made a great movie.


• Larry the Hairy Fairy (HD, 5 min.) – Larry the Cable Guy thinks it's really funny that he has to wear a tutu in the movie. Like, really funny.


• Introducing Crusher the Pig (HD, 5 min.) – A short snippet about the pig that is in a few scenes.


• Deleted Scenes and Alternate Takes (SD, 9 min.) – If you want to see what wasn't good enough to get into the movie then check these out. It's hard to believe that the whole movie wasn't left on the cutting room floor, but there you have it.

I'm at a loss. 'Tooth Fairy 2' is so poorly conceived that there isn't one laugh to be had throughout the entire movie. Larry the Cable Guy is simply one of the worst comedians out there. Why anyone laughs at his sleeveless, redneck shtick is totally beyond me. I wouldn't wish 'Tooth Fairy 2' on my worst enemy. Avoid this movie like you'd avoid someone who was farting pixie dust. There's more fun to be had at a root canal.