I'm going on the record right now. I will always prefer Uwe Boll films to Michael Bay films. That's not to say that Uwe Boll churns out quality cinema, but if I have a choice between the two, I'll always go with Boll. That being said, I have no idea why people still give the man money to make movies. Sure, the projects he takes on look good on paper, but they've never resulted in quality productions.
With Zombie Massacre, Boll produces and leaves the writing and directing duties to Luca Boni and Marco Ristori, but Boll's fingerprints are everywhere. The film is obviously effort is capitalizing on the whole zombie craze, which he is no stranger to. Without bringing up painful memories, Boll did direct the video game adaptation of 'House of the Dead' and Bloodrayne: The Third Reich, which needless to say, were some of the worst films ever made. And the only reason I imagine Boll made this was that a decent zombie film by the name of 'World War Z' was hugely successful and Ol' Uwe thought he could make one just as good.
The film threw me off-guard for a few seconds as the opening scene actually had my attention and was done fairly well with some genuine frightening images. But as soon as you can say Boll, things go downhill fast. We never know where the film really takes place other than some small Eastern European town where a gigantic explosion rocks the landscape and some sort of liquid begins raining down on the citizens. This substance quickly turns any human it touches into blood thirsty zombies as we see in the opening scene.
Come to find out, this explosion was accidentally triggered by a secret U.S. military base operating in this European country. Soon enough, the President of the United States takes action and forms an elite squad to contain the situation and destroy the zombies. Before I go further, I must say that Uwe Boll does indeed play the President, which is hilarious, and says a lot about him as a person. What other producer out there would cast himself as The President? Not only that, but he doesn't get rid of his German accent.
This elite squad is led by Jack Stone (Christian Boeving), who is a former Iraq war vet and is also in jail, particularly in solitary confinement. Don't worry people, there is plenty of shirtless Boeving to go around. In his command, he has a wacky group of characters. There is Eden, an Irish martial arts expert who carries samurai swords, McKellen, the technology expert, and Dragan, a highly trained sniper. This team is now in the center of all the zombie action and are looking for the scientist who created this substance in the hope that he knows a cure. Sounds familiar doesn't it?
The entire film is completely predictable. You can see every "so called" twist and turn coming from miles away. The script is terrible and the acting is laugh out loud funny most of the time. Every now and again, the directors throws in a decent camera angle, and some decent zombie effects and gore, but nothing really worthy of writing home about. It's difficult these days to make a good zombie film that is original and fresh, as everyone seems to be making them these days. And almost every possibility and genre of zombies has been made more than once already.
And this film doesn't do anything to further or really help this whole zombie genre. 'Zombie Massacre' is laughable and poorly executed. Even the biggest zombie enthusiasts would want to skip this one.
'Zombie Massacre' comes with a surprisingly decent 1080p HD transfer and is presented in 2.40:1 aspect ratio. This film was shot digitally and features well defined detail in the actor's faces and costumes. The make-up on the zombies is amazing at times, and the sharpness of the images outlines every scar, cut, and drop of blood perfectly.
The colors are fairly bland here as we are in a sort of post-apocalyptic scenario, so colors are de-saturated for the most part. Even the red blood looks a bit muted from time to time. Black levels are consistent and run deep and inky. When we are no in a green screen scene, the background depths are good. There were no compression issues that I noticed, no was there any significant motion blur either. This was a solid video presentation.
This release comes with a great lossless DTS-HD 5.1 audio mix. The sound here is the best part of the release. The dialogue is always crystal clear, free of any cracks, pops, or hissing. Due to the cast speaking in heavy foreign accents, some of the dialogue is more difficult to understand, but it does come out nicely in the center channel.
The sound effects are incredible and get a lot of play in the surrounds. The zombie growls and roars, the bullets, explosions, crashes, and yells really put you in the center of all this chaos. The ambient noises and effects are well balanced and clear. The dynamic range is wide here as well with some good bass to rumble the house. This was a great audio presentation.
'Zombie Massacre' is a terrible zombie film, hell, it's a terrible film all around. There is no rhyme or reason to this and everything is highly predictable. It's silly, stupid, and not worth your time. The audio is top notch here with a decent video presentation. The extras aren't great though for those of you looking for insight into a Uwe Boll production. Shoot this zombie film in the head and leave it on the shelf.