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With millions of believers worldwide, The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Mon-ster is the world’s fastest growing religion. Followers of the faith, Pastafarians, have been preaching the message of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) since The Prophet Bobby Henderson’s Open Letter to the Kansas School Boardwent viral in 2005.In response to the school board’s decision to teach evolution alongside creationism as equivalent scientific theories in science classes statewide, Mr. Henderson argued that it would then only be fair to teach other creation beliefs in science classes as well. Specifically, his belief: that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe a few thousand years ago.Pastafarians acknowledge that there is overwhelming observable evidence that shows the universe is likely billions of years old; however, they believe this evidence was put in place by The FSM in order to trick scientists. They also believe that global warming is caused by the reduction in the pirate population, since the correlation between the two is undeniable. With this irrefutable evidence in hand, their holy mission is to increase the pirate population in order to combat climate change. Successful completion of this mission grants them access to Pastafarian Heaven, where a beer volcano and a stripper factory await them. Pastafarian Hell also contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory, but the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.I, PASTAFARI is a story about a few brave Pastafarians evangelizing the message of the FSM, while fighting against intolerant skeptics, for the freedom to access religious privileges in law granted to other “real” religions. In a time of flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, fake news, and alternative facts, the Pastafarians may be the savior the world has been waiting for. R’amen.
