'That's My Boy' plays out like all of the worst parts of Adam Sandler's crude comedy sketch albums rolled into one. It's an offensive, unfunny example of what Sandler thinks of his audience. He has nothing but contempt for the consumer. This movie is a gigantic middle finger from The Waterboy himself. He's essentially saying, "This is a stream of cinematic shit and you're going to pay to see it," as he lights a cigar with a $100 bill. Bottom line: this is Sandler at his absolute worst.
Long gone are the days of 'The Wedding Singer' or even 'Billy Madison' where Sandler employed an energetic tone and a plethora of quotable lines. In 'That's My Boy' Sandler is all about upping the gross-out quotient to stratospheric levels. His go-to gag is old people talking dirty. There's no thought put into what they're going to say, Sandler simply thinks if a 90-year-old lady says something about jacking off that he's created instant comedic gold. He doesn't stop there, as he pulls out all the stops by offending just about everyone he can in the most mean-spirited way possible. There isn't any cleverness put into the movie's writing. It's like watching the doltish bully on the playground pick on everyone he sees. Sandler lobs hurtful barbs at the obese, Asians, African-Americans, and gay people just to name a few. The problem with the jokes, or gags, is that they aren't funny in the least. They aren't shrewdly constructed or delivered, he simply goes for as many hurtful jabs as he can get in before the movie ends. The only thing missing here is Rob Schneider inexplicably turning up and performing a racist cameo. Although, don't worry, since Schneider apparently wasn't available to turn up in this movie Sandler got the utterly idiotic comedian Nick Swardson to pop up a few times.
The story is about a teenager named Donny (Sandler) who has an affair with his hot high school teacher Mrs. McGarricle (Eva Amurri Martino). The affair ends up in a pregnancy and a 30-year jail sentence for Mrs. McGarricle. The teenage Donny is saddled with a kid, but that doesn't stop him from soaking up his fifteen minutes of fame as the teenager who nailed the hot teacher. He becomes an instant sensation and promptly blows all his money. Skipping ahead, Donny's kid (Andy Samberg) has grown up and disavowed all knowledge about his father and is about to be married. That's when Donny renters the picture.
That's all you need to know about the movie. There isn't one laugh to be had in its entire runtime, which is a few minutes shy of two hours. It's a miracle I survived up until the 90 minute mark. How I made it to the end is a mystery. Something else that is equally mystifying is how Sandler coaxes otherwise respectable actors to be in a piece of garbage like this. James Caan, Susan Sarandon, Will Forte, and Andy Samberg, what are you doing in this movie? Why did you agree to do this? Did you know it was going to be as awful as it turned out? Sandler must pay them nicely in exchange for their souls.
This isn't just a new low for Sandler, who seems to be digging his own hole deeper and deeper just so he can produce more loathsome movies; this is a new low for comedy. Without a doubt this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Not one chuckle-worthy scene in the whole movie. Instead the movie is hateful and ugly. To make matters worse, Sandler tries on the 'Billy Madison' voice but also tries to force in an abysmal Boston accent. Yes, it's just as appalling as it sounds.
I'm convinced that Sandler hates just about everyone in the world, because there really is no other reason why this movie exists. Its sole purpose is to punish anyone who watches it. It isn't just dumb, it's aggressively stupid and just plain mean.
The Blu-ray: Vital Disc Stats
This is a Sony release and it comes in a standard keepcase with a 50GB Blu-ray Disc. It also has an UltraViolet Digital Copy to go along with it. It's a region free release.
In spite of the awful content of this movie, Sony has provided one of their patented 1080p transfers on this one. The image is crisply defined, full of detail and lively color.
The detail exhibited here is indicative to the good looking Blu-rays that Sony consistently puts out. Texture's like the smooth lips of Mrs. McGarricle or Donny's kicking denim jackets pop. Facial features like stubble are clearly visible. Even Vanilla Ice's tapestry of tattoos is easily discernible in a few shots. Skin tones are overheated a bit, which is par for the course when you're talking about modern comedies. Blacks are solid and offer great depth during the nighttime scenes. Shadows never crush. Contrast is pitch-perfect. Again, I absolutely hate this movie, but there's no denying how well Sony does with Blu-ray transfers.
The DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 mix follows suit as it provides an intelligible soundtrack all the way around. If I could I'd knock more than a few points off this score because of the sound of Sandler's voice throughout the movie. As much as I hate the way he sounds here, I can't. Just know that it's one of the most annoying voices you'll ever hear in a movie.
That said, dialogue is always clear and presented nicely through the front and center channels. There are plenty of times where yelling and dialogue can be heard off screen, which is when directionality and prioritization work well. LFE is in a constant state of engagement as the movie's soundtracks, and a few sound effects, rely on the sub-woofer to crank out some solid bass. Surrounds are amply stuffed with action, whether it be noisy strip clubs, mingling dinner parties, or a raucous mob scene, the rear channels pick up quite a bit of action.
Please don't watch this movie. Don't give Sandler the satisfaction. Don't give him your money! There isn't a single redeemable scene in this entire piece of crap. It's an utterly useless waste of a disc. Yes, the presentation is just as good, just as pretty as just about every Sony title, but this is an awful movie from start to finish. Get the shower ready because you'll definitely need one after seeing it. One to avoid.