The Nun

"I'm afraid there is something very wrong with this place."

Before The Conjuring, before a demon-girl infected a little doll in Annabelle: Creation, there was The Nun - the Mother Superior of all Conjuring films. Only it's unfortunately not a great movie. Entertaining? Sure. Good? I wouldn't say that. We pick this story up at a secluded secretive cloistered abbey in Romania in the 1950s where a nun was discovered hanging from a noose by local French-Canadian handyman Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet). Intent on discovering if this abbey is cursed, the Vatican has sent faith-stressed investigator Father Burke (Demián Bichir) along with nun-in-training Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) to investigate. Evil lurks in the darkness as Father Burke, Sister Irene, and their pal Frenchie soon learn of a terrible secret the convent of nuns had kept hidden for hundreds of years. 

Without putting too blunt a sign on it, the plot of The Nun essentially is Exorcist: The Beginning / Dominion: Prequel to The Exorcist. When I saw this in the theater it was pretty clear within the first few minutes that The Nun was following the same playbook of a faith-questioned priest who travels to a church the Vatican knew little or nothing about and must battle an ancient demon - that actually won't be stopped because this is a prequel, and the whole exorcise is a bit redundant. But I was fine with that. It's what I paid my money for because I just wanted to watch a creepy movie. Surprisingly enough, The Nun works - up to a point. 

The first 45-minutes of The Nun is actually pretty solid stuff. Certainly, not the greatest thing ever made, but it was working. There was a creepy location with ominous dark and shadowy photography to set the mood. The characters were introduced in albeit brief but efficient way with fine performances by Bichir and little Farmiga keeping the family name involved while her sister Vera preps for the upcoming Annabelle 3. Top it off, there were some great scares in there while the film actually took time to set itself up. Unfortunately - that last 45-minutes kills it.

I do enjoy jump scares - they're effective because you don't expect them and they almost always get the audience going - but it quickly becomes the only gag in the game. They become obvious and tiresome after a stretch. The film also moves away from some great practical gore and monster effects towards a parade of clunky CGI spectacle that just doesn't line up with what we saw at the outset - let alone in the previous Conjuring movies. Then the film finds a silly need to explain itself courtesy of a flashback sequence right out of a History Channel special complete with an ancient relic and Templar Knights. But those issues aren't this film's worst sins. It's the sad attempt at horror-comedy courtesy of our pal Frenchie that damns the film's last half. 

I don't mind comedy in my horror movies - especially rollercoaster ride flicks like these. You need that smartly timed release after a good scare - but this? This, this is no good. All of a sudden every scare is given a quip or a joke from Frenchie and any tension or sense of danger is ruined anytime Burke or Irene shouts "Frenchie!" looking for help. And it isn't Jona Bloquet's fault either, he's playing the part with gumption and gusto trying to make the most of it. He's great in the first half as a guy who's just trying to help that is clearly in way over his head. His fight with a demon nun in the graveyard was creepy as hell and proved to be the perfect exit for the character. Then he comes back with a torch and a shotgun and his character effectively becomes the Jar Jar Binks of The Conjuring franchise. 

To be honest, I'm past the point of really expecting too much from The Conjuring movies as a whole. Any genuine scares have played so each successive sequel or prequel is more or less a greatest hits rundown of old scares. But in truth, these movies are still fun. The Nun isn't a great movie by any stretch. Like the later Exorcist entries, they're not good movies but they're entertaining. They're a fun way to pass the time. To give The Nun some measure of credit, I don't think it's the worst film in the series, that would still be Annabelle for me. If only the last half of the film could have been as good as the front end this would have been an above average creeper flick. 

Vital Disc Stats: The Blu-ray

The Nun haunts Blu-ray courtesy of Warner Bros. in a two-disc Blu-ray + DVD + Digital release. The discs are housed in a standard eco-friendly case with identical slipcover artwork. The disc loads to trailers for upcoming WB releases before arriving at a static-image main menu with traditional navigation options. The included digital code is Movies Anywhere compatible.