Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star

After a dismal (basically non-existent) theatrical run that almost nobody went to, I'm here to tell you that, yes, 'Bucky Larson' is as bad as it's said to be and even worse than it looks. Even if 'Bucky' makes his way into a discount Blu-ray bin, do not – under and circumstance – think, 'Only $5? Maybe I'll give it a shot.' It's that bad.

Mind you, the content of 'Bucky Larson' is so crude and vulgar that I'll keep my description of it very vague. By doing so, I'm certain that as you try imaging exactly what "stoopid" things I'm alluding to, whatever you come up with will be funnier than what actually appears in the film. In all honesty, I laughed out loud only once during the entire film and occasionally chuckled here and there – but that was only because of Kevin Nealon.

Nick Swardson was hilarious in 'Grandma's Boy,' but that was a fluke. Since then he's been atrocious. Because a little dose of Swardson goes a long way, there's no reason why he should ever be cast in a leading role. He can't command a movie and, frankly, he's utterly annoying to watch. This is the only positive thing to come from 'Bucky Larson' – every studio now knows that he's not leading material and they'll never make that mistake again.

Swardson plays the titular character, an idiotic and ignorant Iowa kid with huge rabbit-like front teeth who's never seen a "nude movie" before. When his friends invite him over to experience his first one, Bucky learns that his parents were adult film stars in the '70s. For some reason, Bucky views this as a glorious and prestigious profession, so he decides to make the move to Hollywood to become a second-generation nude movie star.

When he gets there, he meets an equally innocent naïve waitress (Christina Ricci) who takes him under her wing. She helps Bucky find a roommate (an angry Kevin Nealon) and points him in the right direction to becoming a nude star.

When Bucky actually makes a few contacts in the adult film industry, we learn that he's unlike any adult film star. Think of him as the anti-Dirk Diggler. He has no sexual talent whatsoever. The reason a few industry folks have faith in his ability to star in and sell nude movies is because he makes men everywhere look good. Men don't feel threatened by him and women like watching him because he makes their boyfriends and husband seem like bigger men than they are.

Co-written by Adam Sandler, 'Bucky Larson' proves that Sandler is not only terrible with his ongoing slew of family-friendly movies, but he's also lost his touch with the adult R-rated ones. He's done for. It's going to take a miracle to get him to pump out something worthwhile.

The fact that Sandler and Swardson would do something as bad as 'Bucky Larson' isn't a big surprise, but it's in the supporting cast that I'm surprised. First, Ricci isn't the greatest actress out there, but she's a lot better than this garbage. The supporting cast features Stephen Dorff and Pauly Shore making asses of themselves, but why is Don Johnson lowering himself to making this movie. Making no movies is better than making this one.

Do yourself a favor and never, ever consider seeing 'Bucky Larson.' It's like an Adam Sandler-infused version of Kevin Smith's 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' (which wasn't a good film either). 'Bucky' has absolutely no entertainment value whatsoever and is definitely worthy of a Razzie or two.

The Blu-ray: Vital Disc Stats

Sony has placed 'Bucky Larson' on a Region A/B/C BD-50 in an eco-friendly blue keepcase. Visible through the plastic case is an image printed on the back of the cover art sheet featuring two women in bikinis making out. Removing the disc reveals the image of Bucky's dumb reaction to the lesbian kiss. When you insert the disc into your Blu-ray player, two Sony vanity reels and four trailers play before taking you to the main menu. Fortunately, you can skip past them all - but it's a shame that doing so doesn't skip right over the movie too.

'Bucky Larson' has been given one of those strong 1080p/AVC-MPEG-4 Blu-ray transfers that leaves you kind of angry – not because it's problematic, but because it looks so good. Movies this bad shouldn't look this good.

Presented in a 1.85:1 aspect ratio, 'Bucky Larson' is crisp and alive, as sharp as some of the finest Blu-rays out there. As dumb as the onscreen images appear – Bucky's unnaturally ginormous teeth, his ridiculous haircut and the constantly stupid faces he's pulling – they're always highly detailed.

Taking place in a glitzy and glamorous world, the color palette is full of wild primaries. All colors are vibrant and poignantly saturated. Black levels are deep and perfect, as is the contrast. Both are consistently strong, never varying. Edge enhancement, DNR, artifacts and banding aren't an issue, although aliasing and digital noise frequently pop up.

With both English and French 5.1 DTS-HD Master audio tracks, the quality of the audio put a smile on my face because it's not super strong like the picture quality.

Overall, the entire audio track plays out on the quiet side. If you don't crank the volume up, you'll find that you have to struggle to hear everything – but with the audio turned up, when the movie takes you into a raging industry party you'll have to turn the volume down because the rave music is too loud. During this same scene, dialog is lost beneath the overpowering music mix.

'Bucky' doesn't lend itself to many imaging and surround effects, so the audio features and overall forward feel. The only thing that frequently engages the surround and rear speakers is the quirky generic scoring that sounds like it could be interchangeable with any other lame comedy.

One of my pet peeves is a Blu-ray that gives its special features titles that offer no insight into what each one is about. Trying to come across as witty, their titles don't entice, but play simply on words. Such is the case with 'Bucky Larson.'

• Laughter is Contagious (HD, 5 min.) - This gag reel features on-set gags and flubbed takes, but more than anything it shows Swardson dancing around the set and making dumb faces. Can you believe that someone gets paid great money to this?


• Behind the Teeth (HD, 11 min.) - This brief making-of featurette shows interviews with cast set to clips. Talk is generally focused on how the story came about, but also highlights the actors and their on-set shenanigans. Unless you think 'Bucky Larson' is comedic gold, this featurette is also worthless.


• Gary: Tough Customer (HD, 4 min.) - Kevin Nealon just might be better than anyone else on the set and the filmmakers know it. If this feature proves anything, it's just that. His was the character that made me chuckle throughout the movie. I love him even more because he pokes fun of the fact that anyone involved in making this movie is just doing it because he or she is a friend of Adam Sandler.


• Bucky Sparkles (HD, 2 min.) - Didn't get enough of Swardson making stupid "O-faces" during the movie? Then watch a short gag reel that only features Swardson intentionally looking like an ass in front of the camera. For Swardson and Sandler fans only.


• Previews (HD) – Watch all of the same trailers that played before the menu, including 'Jack and Jill,' '30 Minutes or Less,' the red-band trailer for 'A Good Old Fashioned Orgy' and 'Attack the Block.'

'Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star' is a movie I heard bad things about since its flop theatrical opening, yet nobody I know had actually suffered through it. If you don't know anyone who can personally attest to how bad it is, you do now. I am qualified to vouch for the worthless nature of the film. The best thing about 'Bucky' is that it (hopefully) proved to the studio powers-that-be that Swardson has no business in a leading role. For a movie that claims to be a comedy, it doesn't warrant any laughter. Every joke is so purely stupid that they all fall flat. Nothing works, and 'Bucky Larson' does not warrant the four-and-a-half star video quality that it features. The audio, however, reflects the movie's wasted quality. And just like the movie itself, the special features carry no value. As you've heard all along, 'Bucky Larson' is a movie worth avoiding at all costs.