Baywatch

After CHiPS and 21 Jump Street, the latest TV-to-big-screen remake is Baywatch, which originally aired from 1989-2001 and followed a group of well-oiled and beautiful lifeguards who saved the lives of people in need at the beach. It was known for its extremely campy dialogue, almost naked bodies running down the beach, David Hasselhoff, and Pam Anderson. Even though the show itself was silly and ultra campy, there was a big following, which gave the show a lot of charm.

Most of that is non-existent in this newly revamped and glossy remake from the guy who directed Horrible Bosses (Jeff Gordon) and the writers of Freddy vs Jason (Damian Shannon and Mark Swift). CHiPS and 21 Jump Street used that vulgar humor, mostly seen in Judd Apatow movies, and transferred that to their action remakes. The same goes for this version of Baywatch. With tons of F-bombs, sexual references, toilet humor, and dick jokes, Baywatch seems ready to take on a new generation with a pinch of blood and body parts.

In fact, Baywatch is just like an Apatow film, but replaced with the hottest model stars in the business right now, including The Rock, Zac Effron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, and the funny fat guy with hairy nipples. I'm not kidding. These well-sculpted bodies deliver their lines and jokes just like Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill would in one of their many comedies together, but this time, it's set at a sunny beach without a lot of clothing. Add a cliched story line about an evil woman who seems to get away with extortion, racketeering, drug-dealing, and murder, to only which the stunning lifeguards are willing to solve, along with a Jedi Master/Padawan relationship with The Rock and Efron, and you have the whole story to Baywatch.

Like the show, none of it is very good, but there is an infectious sense of charm and chemistry between the actors, which makes you laugh through most of it. Luckily, the film never takes itself seriously, even breaking the 4th wall a few times with a ton of winks and nods to the original series. Visual effects are subpar here as everything looks mostly digitized, but it really makes no difference, since you're only here to see beautiful people cuss at one another and tell dirty jokes. With that angle, Baywatch succeeds if you're wanting a throw-away film you can laugh at and have a drink while watching.

The Blu-ray: Vital Disc Stats

Baywatch comes with a 50GB Blu-ray Disc and a DVD copy of the film that is Region A Locked. There is an insert for a digital copy of the film inside. The discs are housed in a hard, blue plastic case with a cardboard sleeve.

Baywatch comes with a 1080p HD transfer and is presented in 2.40:1 aspect ratio. This is a perfectly clear and glossy image if I've ever seen one. Even with its glossy look, there never seems to be a flatness to the picture with the exception of one scene where CGI fire is taking over a yacht. Other than that, the image is spectacular. Detail is vivid and sharp in all lighting conditions, which is mostly sunny and the occasional neon-lit nighttime parties.

Every bead of sweat, drop of blood, individual hair, and crease in pectoral muscle is easily scene and discernible. The goose bumps and freckles look great on the actor's bodies and faces and the textures in the swimsuits look incredible. The scene in the morgue shows all the graphic details of a dead man's penis as well, which may or may not be a great thing. Wider shots always look beautiful and showcase the beach goers and white sand perfectly.

Colors are well-balanced and bright throughout with reds that pop, blues and browns looking luscious, with a hint of green in the city. Black levels are always deep and inky and the skin tones are always natural, even if everyone is spray tanning. There was no evidence of any aliasing, banding, or any other video noise that was a major problem, leaving this video presentation with great marks.

This release comes with a good Dolby Atmos track that is quite fun to listen to. The track never seems to stop and immerses you on the beachside with these good looking stars. The sound effects are always loud and energetic, whether there are gunshots, people splashing in the ocean, riding on jet-skis, or explosions are setting off. There are a couple of punches thrown in the film and a silly fight scene in a small child's room that has good directionality with the hits and take downs packing a punch. Other ambient noises of people on the beach, waves crashing on the rocks, boats speeding by or birds chirping, all sound great.

The height speakers never fully deliver on a consistent basis, but do add support to other sound effects and make a big impact when fireworks go off and when a helicopter flies on by. The music of the film always adds more energy to the hip-hop genre with a great low end of bass that never crosses into rocky territory. Dialogue is always clear and easy to follow, even if some of the music and sound effects seem to be a bit louder than the dialogue during the heavier action sequences. There were no pops, cracks, hiss, or shrills here, leaving this audio presentation with good marks.

Baywatch is a silly, ridiculous, over-the-top film with great looking people spitting out F-bombs every 10-seconds and/or talking about sex and their genitalia. It's really no different than a Judd Apatow film, but set on a beautiful beach with scantily clad men and women. It's a fun film you can throw away after viewing that will never enter your thoughts again. Sometimes, we need a movie that just makes us laugh and smile for all the vulgar reasons. Thank you, Baywatch for that. Video and audio presentations are both great and the extras are worth watching if you want to see the cast make fun of each other. Worth A Look.