Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son

Welcome to Comedy 101. Our first lesson will be: Fat Suits and Why They're Always Funny. See, people love fat suits. They love to say, "Hey that's that one actor, but he's dressed up like a morbidly obese person. That's funny!" This is the impenetrable logic that has perpetuated not one, not two, but three 'Big Momma' movies. No matter how much I hate the idea of fat suits equaling comedy, I can't fight the fact that we now have three movies where Martin Lawrence dresses up like a fat old lady and yells "Daaamn!" for an hour and a half. I guess this is what the public wants.

The dilemma: How do we make a new 'Big Momma' movie without it seeming like an old 'Big Momma' movie? Answer: Let's add an arbitrary son. Perfect. Action!

FBI Agent Malcolm Turner (Lawrence) is working a tough case. His informant wants witness protection, but Malcolm is unable to give it to him unless he wears a wire to the next meeting. Malcolm is being attacked on another front. His son, Trent (Brandon T. Jackson) wants to be a rapper, but he's underage. He's been invited to go on tour, but can't without his father's permission, being a minor and all. Malcolm has other plans for his son, like going to Duke for a higher education. After all, he went to Duke and look how life turned out for him. Here's a guy who uses his FBI issued vehicle to chase down his mailman in order to get his son's college acceptance letter. Yeah, Malcolm turned out to be a great human being.

Thinking like a rational human being Trent decides to follow his dad and ambush him at his job. That way his dad can't say no. Both of them soon wind up in a fire fight with nefarious gangsters and now have to go undercover. They hide away in an all girls arts school where an object of great importance to Malcolm's case is supposed to be hidden.

Now that we got the "plot" out of the way, we can talk about the real reason this and all the other 'Big Momma' movies stink. One, Martin Lawrence is not funny. In or out of a fat suit the man has been living on the same tired routine for years now. Somehow being loud and obnoxious keeps landing him roles. Two, fat suits and cross dressing aren't funny either. How many times have we seen a movie where a man pretending to be a woman has to live with other women? That story has run its course a thousand times, but 'Big Momma: Like Father Like Son' doesn't realize it, or chooses to ignore it. Instead the movie plays like a movie that thinks it’s the first movie to ever think of this type of gag.

Of course Trent feels awkward living with a bunch of college age girls. Of course he almost gets caught peeing standing up. Of course his voice continuously switches from high-pitched and whiny to low and baritone with only a clearing of the throat to explain away the problem. Of course some sad sap falls head over heels for Big Momma only to find out that there's an unfunny male comedian under there. Of course Trent falls for one of the girls he's rooming with. Of course she finds out who he really is. Of course 'Big Momma: Like Father Like Son' plays out exactly how we'd thought it would play out.

Why anyone would want to subject themselves to a movie experience like this is beyond my comprehension. Why anyone would want to actually own this movie to presumably watch repeatedly is a mystery. There isn't one laugh-worthy scene in this entire chore of a movie.

The Blu-ray: Vital Disc Stats

Fox brings 'Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son' to Blu-ray on a BD-50 along with a DVD copy of the film. An extra disc has been provided for the Digital Copy. This release touts the moniker "Motherload Edition". It has a theatrical and extended cut contained on it. The theatrical version is rated PG-13, while the extended cut is unrated. Believe it or not, I didn't see the theatrical version of the movie so I can't definitively say what scenes have been added. A quick check of the movie's timestamps reveals that the theatrical version is 107 minutes long while the extended version is 113 minutes long.

'Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son' features that all-too-familiar boosted contrast look that is supposed to add a cartoony feel to a slapstick comedy. The colors have been boosted, which is easy to tell by Big Momma's read dress appearing far too bright in every scene. It's almost eye-burning brightness clashes with the rest of the picture. It's one glaring flaw in an otherwise capable, but altogether forgettable video presentation.

The artificially boosted contrast doesn't seem to harm the blacks in the picture though. They're inky and respectively deep. Shadow delineation is nicely done. Fine detail is almost too good. When we can see the lines of the fat prosthetics sticking out like a sore thumb, you have to wonder why every one of the characters fail to see the crappy make up job. It's easy to spot the lines under the chin and around the mouths of the actors where the prosthetic doesn't exactly match the real actor's skin tone.

The DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 presentation actually adds some much needed activity to a dismal movie experience. The movie has its share of action scenes. When guns are going off and car engines are revving the sound design does a nice job of making the most of those sound effects. The early firefight between Malcolm and the gangsters features some good panning effects where bullets whiz through the sound stage from one end to the other.

LFE is present for much of the movie, be it during transition scenes featuring the latest in hip-hop music, or Trent's on stage rapping antics. Dialogue is intelligible throughout the movie. This is a serviceable soundtrack for a less than impressive movie.

• Audio Commentary — I'm not kidding you. This movie has a full-length commentary that features the likes of director John Whitesell, producer David T. Friendly, and actors Jessica Lucas, Brandon T. Jackson, and Portia Doubleday. I have got to be honest here. Listening to this commentary all the way through would have required me to endure this monstrosity of a movie yet again. I admit to sampling the commentary, because I just couldn't put myself through this movie again. From what I heard I was actually pleasantly surprised with the commentary's forthright approach to the movie's filming. I thought the commentary would be far more chaotic than it was. Anecdotes are shared by cast and crew.
• Deleted Scenes (HD, 12 min.) — There's actually some weightier scenes (har har) here that people may enjoy if they actually like this movie. Trent gets into it with some jocks and there is a Vaseline gag that's carried a bit too far.
• Bigger Busts Countdown (HD, 10 min.) — Scenes from the three 'Big Momma' movies are treated with a highlight reel of sorts.
• Gag Reel (HD, 4 min.) — Actors messing up their lines and giggling.
• Song and Dance: Momma Style (HD, 6 min.) — An overview of the movie's singing and dancing.
• Music Videos (HD, 4 min.) — Two music videos are included. One for the song "Lyrical Miracle" and the other for "Baby You Know".
• Trailer (HD, 2 min.) — A theatrical trailer has been provided.

I couldn't think of a scenario where one would want to purchase any 'Big Momma' movie. Martin Lawrence has always been dreadfully unfunny, sticking him in a fat suit didn't help matters. The third 'Big Momma' movie is another gigantic flop. Stay away from this release at all costs.