The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

As a cult movie enthusiast, I've come to accept over the years that there will always be times when certain movies that I feel are without any redeeming value whatsoever will earn cult status. 'The Boondock Saints' is just such a release. No matter how many times I try to watch it, the story of two Irish brothers on a holier-than-thou vigilante trip just strikes me as garbage. By some bizarre, almost voodoo-like miracle, Troy Duffy actually salvaged whatever inkling of a film career he had by finding an audience on home video. Even more of a shocker is the fact that the poster-boy for what not to do when welcomed into the Hollywood system was actually given the green-light to make an even worse follow-up.

Ten years after the events of the previous movie, 'The Boondock Saints II' sees the MacManus brothers, Connor (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus), living the quiet life in Ireland with their father Noah (Billy Connolly). When a beloved priest in Boston is murdered using their signature style, the two return to solve the mystery and clear their names. On their way there, they meet up with the spunky, loudmouthed Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.), who ends up becoming their new sidekick. Meanwhile, FBI Agent Bloom (Julie Benz) is already on the case and intends to catch the killer before The Saints do. As the team discovers Papa Yakavetta's son, Concezio (Judd Nelson), is the man behind the priest's assassination, they learn that the real mastermind is orchestrating a much larger plot.

Just as with its predecessor, 'The Boondock Saints II' is all bark and no bite, an empty spectacle full of random, meaningless dialogue wishing it were insightful. The movie tries so hard to appeal to viewers' hip/cool sensibilities with stylish, over-the-top imagery and conversations that are intended to serve as astute observations on life, but ultimately, the whole mess is trivial nonsense with a shallow, simplistic outlook. The script is utterly inane, yet it attempts to appear intelligent, with characters who actually correct the grammar of others. Unfortunately, that venture quickly falls apart, with characters using the F-bomb in every other sentence, Detective Greenly (Bob Marley) saying "irregardless" as if it were a real word, and Agent Bloom proclaiming that she makes smart people look "retarded." Sadly, the Holly Hunter-reject fails to live up to even that promise.

This terrible sequel is just so bloated in excess and self-satisfaction that it feels as though Duffy's own pompous arrogance actually bled into the narrative. Mr. Duffy not only doesn't know how to write, but he also doesn't know how to direct a motion picture in an engaging and interesting fashion. It seems to take forever to finally arrive at a showdown with The Roman, and none of the action sequences are ever impressive - just a bunch of sophomoric, pretentious camerawork, and sequences that play as though slow-motion makes everything look better. Maybe Duffy missed that episode of Chappelle's Show demystifying the slow-mo theory. He wastes too much time making unfunny, lame references to his own movie, as well as to other, exceedingly better films ('Panic Room,' 'Jaws,' 'The Eiger Sanction,' and 'Manhunter' to name a few). He also riddles 'Saints II' with endless racist and sexist jokes that never serve a purpose.

At the end of the day, the movie falls somewhere between mediocre and bland, with godawful editing and pointless shifts in the sequence of events. In all honesty, I had a much better time watching the über-emo romance of Edward, Bella, and Jacob, and I've seen more entertaining gratuitous violence in the ridiculous 'Smokin' Aces 2.' The one and only thing that serves as the movie's saving grace is the attractive photography by Miroslaw Baszak ('Land of the Dead,' 'Pontypool'). Beyond that, I see nothing else to enjoy in Duffy's follow-up to his own cult favorite. It's just more garbage.

'The Boondock Saints II' is literally, as Shakespeare so beautifully and eloquently put it, "a tale / Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, / Signifying nothing." With all due respect Mr. Duffy, your movie sucks "wicked" bad. It will be another miracle to see a third installment.