I Love You, Beth Cooper

Man, 'Miss March,' and now this. 'I Love You, Beth Cooper' is so silly and moronic it's hard to put into words how much this movie completely and utterly sucks. It just suuuucks. Sometimes that's the only way to explain how you feel about a movie that is so childish and juvenile that you feel as if you've just experienced your very own lobotomy.

'Miss March' was ridiculous, crass, inanely gross, and stupidly acted. 'I Love You, Beth Cooper,' possesses the same qualities, but just in a watered down, PG-13 rated universe. The two lead actors in here rival the stupidity of the guys in 'Miss March.' They are annoying, unlikable, and ridiculously inept. Paul Rust, who plays Denis Cooverman, is constantly sniveling, whining, and screeching. It's hard to believe this is the same Paul Rust in Tarantino's 'Inglorious Basterds.' His friend Rich, is equally annoying as a kid who has an extensive amount of knowledge about film history and spouts it off any chance he gets.

We've seen this movie a thousand times in different incarnations. High school nerd has aspirations of getting with the hottest girl in school. We all know he's not supposed to get with her, because hey, he's a nerd right? The hot girl we're talking about here is played by Hayden Panettiere ('Heroes'). She's has the clichéd evil boyfriend, who happens to be an insane soldier in the Army who apparently has a coke habit. After Denis announces during his valedictorian speech at graduation that he is "in love with Beth Cooper," the word is out, and Beth's boyfriend is out for blood.

Like 'Miss March,' 'I Love You, Beth Cooper' quickly spirals downward into a sad line of physical gags and cheap slapstick humor.

The story careens along its path of ineptitude as Beth and her hottie sidekicks do things hot girls do like walk sexily and buy beer underage. Beth's psychotic boyfriend is constantly trying to kill Denis in more and more over-the-top ways. Denis screams and whimpers constantly, and then it's over. Sweet relief.

At no point does the film ever show a glimmer of hope that it might become an interesting, thought-provoking teen film like 'The Girl Next Door,' or 'Mean Girls.' It's just so tired and so tacky that you can never take it serious. The writing is beyond poor and the acting is grating. There's just nothing here that warrants the interest of an audience.

With all of its shortcomings as a movie, at least it looks good while it's crashing and burning.

The 1080p transfer with an AVC encode is well done, which gives the movie a natural look and cinematic feel. Contrast can be a tad off at times, with whites getting a little too bright while reflecting off faces, but otherwise skin tones are rendered well. Primary colors, especially reds and greens, are shown off here with rich detail. Fine detail is another noteworthy component of this transfer, giving things like plants, clothing, and patterns ample room to show off.

The DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 provided here is an ideal home for the pop and rock music laden soundtrack. Music spreads into the surround channels while the dialogue stays up front. There's ample surround sound activity, especially during the party scene. LFE is present, mostly for the songs on the sound track, but is also used in some of the film's effects like when a humvee crashes into a house. Directionality is great with a herd of cows creating the best panning effect on the sound track. Like the video presentation, the audio on this release far outdoes the movie itself.

• Trailers - High-def trailers of 'Fame,' 'My Life in Ruins,' 'Adam,' and 'The Marine 2' are included.
  
• Alternate Ending (HD, 7 min) - Alternate endings are almost always disappointing and only used as marketing gimmicks so they can say in a commercial “see the alternate ending you couldn't see in theaters.” Don't worry it's just as dumb as the movie itself.
  
• Deleted Scenes (HD, 7 min) - In a movie this bad why would you want to watch its deleted scenes? As expected they're worse than some of the scenes in the film.
  
• I Love You, Larry Doyle (HD, 6 min) - HAHAHA! Sorry I just had to laugh as writer Larry Doyle had the gall to say that he was trying to avoid clichés in this movie and make a comment on teen movies in general.
  
• We Are All Different, But That's A Good Thing (HD, 9 min) - Promo stuff here with each actor talking a little about their character and working on the film.
  
• Peanut Butter Toast (SD, 3 min) - Rust can actually be funny, he just wasn't given the right material in this film. Here he just makes up a song about peanut butter and toast and gives us more laughs than the movie ever will. It's sad really.
  
• Fox Movie Channel Presents In Character With Hayden Panettiere (SD, 3 min) - More promo fluff stuff with Hayden talking about the film.
  
• Fox Movie Channel Presents In Character With Paul Rust (SD, 3 min) - Same promo fluff stuff, but this time with Paul Rust.
  

A mind-numbingly awful film that is bookended by some fine audio and video presentations that far outdo anything actually in the film. If you're a Hayden fan, you may want to rent it, but don't say I didn't warn you.